Thursday, 29 May 2014


I don't want your tongue in ma c***
save it for hers
Your pleasures bring much pain
with nothing to gain
why i left it so long
beggars belief
A day's too long
let alone over two hundred
The relief, I've received
Since i relieved maself
From your reach
Can't be illustrated
Unlike your web of lies and untruths
The width of the skies
So wrong.So long
To think of it now
Plain vexes my spirit
"i'm at home with you,give me time"
Save your d*** for her please
It ain't mine to s*** or f***
Nor your lips mine to kiss
A bit dissed, i hiss
Just couldn't see
You for all you are
Manipulating d***
Stupid ought to be ma name
Like the old man searching
For his glasses
Where there's light
Rather where he lost it.
Refused to see.
Asked you once before
Why couldn't you?
Tell it like it is?
"I just wanna f*** you"
See?Least i'd know
Exactly what the score is.
don't you think?
Then again.

Screw being 'strong' for today

If i wanted to be strong today
I’d have called a doctor, not you
I’m tired of being told
‘stay strong’ ‘be strong’ ‘you're strong’ bla bla bla
What is it about this black girl’s pain
That turns your eyes awry
Some friend you are
To tell me to anchor, with 'strength' within, i already did that first!
When i heard, Olokun whispering, calling, a storm brewing,

How can you spout such tripe
When, all i want to do is follow Yemoja
To the base of the river beds
The ocean floors
To see what serene feels like
For just a moment of respite
‘i'm sorry to hear’ some say
Though, i'm almost certain, NOT! Follows
In the smirk and wry smile
Eye corners crinkled with mischief
As if to say 'oh well, you needed that lesson' glee is barely hidden
Pure disdain

I’m sad, i’m tired, i’m angry, i’m in flight, i’m processing, i'm floating
In this very dark moment, I've seen the brightest light sparks
Oh! That’s me? When i come back? To the middle, in sync again, maybe not
I don’t want to be strong, not merely
Not right now, at least not how you define it
Stoic, unmoving, unmoveable, touche indeed
As if my hurting disgusts you
I know you didn't want to know, no not really
I wouldn't tell ordinarily

Not today,
Today i went to dig further
Today you asked how i was
I told you ‘ekk u ekk’
You respond like everyone else
‘stay strong’ 'you've been so strong before'
Well, i’m tired of being this ‘strong’ whatever it means
I don’t want to ‘hang on’
Listen, can you tell me
Why my hurting thing
Makes you wanna holler?

Am i not allowed this human process
Of seeking, of self, of healing, of recovery
How does one stay strong
Without first healing
How do i heal without testimony
How can i testify
If you seek to silence me
With a gagging band aid of ‘be strong’
And you wonder why,
Some days, i’ll still smile
Through the murky strains of tears and fears
Burrowing just beneath
Oya has come again with change now

Not tomorrow though,
Tomorrow when you will have asked
How are you?
Not feeling very strong i’ll tell you as the laughter rises
Just as well, i feel free and just perfect
With being
A living woman